"Name one song!"

This has nothing to do with anything, except that it haunts me. I am constantly reminded of the time Al Gore met Courtney Love, maybe in 1998. He told her he was a big fan of her music, and she responded, "Oh yeah? Name one song." And he couldn't. He is said to have responded, "I can't name a song, I'm just a really big fan." And then his Secret Service detail came to his rescue, because Courtney Love probably represented a security threat of some kind.


This haunts me for reasons having nothing to do with either Al Gore or Courtney Love, though I actually can't name one of her songs either. What resonates here is that I think he was partly wanting to connect with her and show how hip he was, and maybe partly wanting to express his admiration for her persona (which back then was kind of grungy and unpleasant, what with the heroin and Kurt Cobain's suicide and all). Or maybe he was trying to be polite, and she was not open to such an approach. I can't see myself doing something like what Gore did--at least, not saying what Gore said. I'd need to be thoroughly prepared before attempting such an encounter. If I knew I'd be running into Courtney somewhere, I'd be sure to listen to her albums and memorize lists of her songs. Of course, Gore had no idea he'd be running into her, so that's not helpful as a way to distinguish between me and Al Gore. But I would at least slink off into a corner and Google her, and then approach her. If I had to. Because I am not a huge fan, really.

I would just be terrified about being caught unprepared, about not knowing stuff I should know. This attitude suits my current endeavor well: I am in the midst of writing my dissertation on Open Educational Resources as part of a sustainable business model for higher education. On the other hand, this fear is also terrible for someone writing a dissertation. It means you have to make yourself an expert in every aspect of your project before you write a single word--or at least, by the time you are finished. And if you are a slow writer (which you would be if you needed to verify every single word), things change by the time you write them down!

While I have learned that being able to say "I don't know" is not necessarily a sign of stupidity or inferiority, there are limits to how much you can trot that phrase out in your dissertation. You have to master the subject, position yourself as an expert in it. And that takes time, which probably means that I won't be out at a party meeting Courtney Love anytime soon.